I co-organized a Men’s circle.
Puerto Viejo (Costa Rica 🇨🇷 ), 26 July at 5 pm: my second ever men’s circle and my first co-organizing one.
Maybe you don’t know what a Men’s circle is. What is the goal of these men who come together to meet, exchange thoughts, laugh, listen, cry (yes men can do this too), and support each other?
Let me explain to you in a few words:
In the society where I grew up, and I believe where most have grown up, men are brought up believing they should not express emotion, that vulnerability is a weakness, that competition is their fuel, that more is better (more women, more money, more possessions), that crying is for the weak. Physical contact, hugging or dancing, with other men is frowned upon. “Real men” should eat big steaks and drive big cars 😅
This may be over-exaggerated, but the general idea represents our patriarchal society.
Thanks to my mom, and her matriarchal education, I have always known that I (and all men) have a feminine side. Because of this, people doubted my sexuality when I was in school. “This guy has too many female friends to be heterosexual.” It was complicated to talk about this side of me, a side that most men are more comfortable pushing away, complicated to talk about life in general with other men. It took me a long time, but now I fully enjoy and embrace this part of me, and I want to help others discover this as well.
“After the first MEN’S CIRCLE, I gained a sense of confidence to just BE ME in front of other men.”
Today.
The world had to start shifting, thanks to our friend COVID (better to see him like this because now it’s our co-liver).
Look at where we have been for so long (and I’m not just talking about men). Our world has mainly been governed and managed via masculine energy: competition, no compassion, no empathy, no listening. But, people are starting to cut through the ‘noise’, we’re opening our eyes and ears to what’s happening around us, and we’re taking action to initiate change in our global system. We’re no longer taking things at face value; we’re asking questions, we’re speaking up.
For so long, we’ve learned that we shouldn’t listen to our emotions or intuition. But if an animal senses danger, it won’t go deeper into the jungle. Why should we go somewhere or act a certain way if our senses are telling us no? Because we’ve been taught to DO, not BE!
Today, more than yesterday, I believe that the world has to shift globally towards feminine energy. Men and women have to heal themselves from their past ancestral life. Centuries of battle, suffering, and no balance of our masculine and female part.
This is my belief, and I put it into action to be a better me, be a better man, and ultimately be at the service of others to uncover and embrace their own feminine energy.
The 26th.
A few weeks ago, in the beautiful community where I live today, I met Felipe. Magic happened when I pushed the off button. With similar values and ambitions for a better world, we quickly became friends and started discussing the idea of organizing a men’s circle.
I will admit, I had some resistance in the beginning to take action. Still, Felipe pushed me and Boom; invitations were sent, men came together, a fire was lit in the middle, some principles were defined (but no specific organization), and a deep and profound conversation began between men who, for some, had never met before.
What we shared in this sacred and safe space stays inside the container. But here is some feedback from some of these incredible men that I shared important moments of my life with:
Felipe — 39 years old 🇨🇷
« After the first MEN’S CIRCLE, I gained a sense of confidence to just BE ME in front of other men.
It was very liberating to hear the life stories of other MEN who I thought were perfect and didn’t have any fear or struggle in life. This gave me the support I needed to share my emotions and feelings.
I feel now more open and relaxed when meeting other men in the street who want to show me how masculine and strong they are when they talk to me in a non-natural way. It’s like I can see the mask that all of us men had since we were a child: Be strong, show others you don’t cry, show others you are made of steel, and emotions are for women. All this is bullshit, but can only be aware of it after attending the MEN CIRCLE.
In a relationship with women: I feel that I want to care more for them. Help them achieve their highest potential and give them my hand so that we can grow together! »
Lester — 30 years old 🇺🇸
« Men’s Circle has helped me learn that it’s ok to let my true emotions out and that I can feel safe and supported around other men instead of holding it inside and only letting them out around women. So it’s helping me to hear a lot of the “You have to be a man” trauma and realize that being a man is allowing yourself to be sensitive and strong in many different forms. »
André — 25 years old 🇨🇦
« The men’s circle brings me a sense of support and understanding that I’ve been looking for. It’s easy as a man to feel alone because sharing things like vulnerabilities and emotions is punished by the old societal script- the one that purports “real men don’t cry.”
With this group, we are writing a new script; we are redefining what it means to be a man. Real men cry. Real men express their emotions, support each other, and aren’t afraid to love each other. »
Jose Pablo — 37 years olds 🇨🇷
« The men circle is safe ground; I hope to find there a group of friends, a team, a gang of brothers that are here to support each other. I hope to create solid bonds, learn from our fellow sisters, who are the teachers of relationships, mutual support, and listening.
Us men have grown disconnected from each other at an emotional level. There are lots to learn, many rough edges to soft, but we are in the path, the intentions are set, and we are in this together. »
Odon — 28 years old 🇪🇸
« The Men’s Circle helped me to connect with Men that match the same Energy frequency as me.
I never had this before.
In this place, I feel that I can BE ME without being judged by anyone else. »
We continue, once a week, to meet.
The men’s circle is not a relaxed, fun, and profound experience. It’s just necessary.
With love ❤️
